Youths

Manhood Authority

It’s Friday! Tom was making his way home, looking forward to the weekend ahead. The pressure of the week behind him was fading as he made a mental list of his plans for the next couple of days. He’s finally free. As he turned a corner with his car, he turned a page in his mind to see sun, sand, water, fish…, but his thoughts are interrupted by a strange glow in his car. No, not really a glow, it was more like a flash. What is that pulsing orb of color? He suddenly recognizes the blue, pulsating flash of a police officer’s lights directly behind him. His stomach jumps to his throat as Tom glances down and notices his speedometer reading at 47. “It’s only 35 here”, Tom thinks to himself as he makes his way to the curb.

“Good afternoon, Sir. May I see your driver’s license?”, the officer asked politely. And you know how the rest of that conversation goes.

Why is the officer so polite? Why does he speak in such even tones, almost emotionless? Why doesn’t he charged up to Tom’s car, pound his fist on the hood, stomp his feet, kick the gravel and bellow something like, “What is the world are you doing? Are you some kind of jerk or something? What in the world do you think you’re doing, driving 47 miles an hour on my street?”

An officer doesn’t do that, because he’s been trained. He knows that the badge behind which he stands represents authority. It’s authority that he has been given. This is not a personal affront. The badge is not his, the street is not his, the law is not his. He is simply a representative a system that is much bigger than he is. He’s there under authority, having been sworn to protect, defend, and uphold. He doesn’t need to get angry. He doesn’t need to stomp and snort. His authority is expressed in the power of his pen, as he quietly, confidently, and firmly hands out a citation for speeding.

Tom finally makes it home. He walks to the door of his home, having already bathed his mind with visions of serenity, the aromas of supper, the splendor of loving children rushing to his knees. With his first step through the door, he feels the crushing, grinding sound of a Lego under his foot. Two of his precious children fly past him, as one screams, “Daddy, tell him to give that back to me!” The two continue their flight up the stairs as Tom slides past and into the kitchen, greets Linda, his wife. He quickly makes his way to the den, where he flops into his chair, flips open his laptop and fires up Candy Crush.

Now, it’s not that Tom is lazy. And it’s not that he doesn’t care about his wife, his children, or his home. Tom has not been trained or equipped. He does not know the “badge” that he has been given. He is not aware of the authority that is his. He doesn’t know how to issue citations or how to enforce them. Instead of quietly “asking for their license”, he is baffled, backs away, or gets angry.

In The Prince and the Pauper, Mark Twain tells the story of Prince Edward, son of King Henry VIII, who discovers that he has an identical look-alike in Tom Canty, a pauper who lives with his abusive father in Offal Court off Pudding Lane in London. Out of boredom and curiosity, the Prince develops a plan by which he trades places with the pauper. The Prince ends up locked out of his own kingdom, while the pauper is trapped in the strange and unfamiliar world of royalty. The confusion, distress, danger, and comedy that results are both entertaining and instructive. It’s a great story, but I’ll leave the reading to you.

The Prince’s decision does give us a good picture of what happens when lines of authority and responsibility are confused. I am convinced that if you as a man can come to understand and grab hold of your God-given position, it will change you forever. And along with changing you, it will change your wife. It will change your work-place. It will change your community. It will change your church. It will change our world.

Men, you have been given the right to oversee your home and family, to set direction, to determine beliefs, to decide what is taught and practiced. You have authority over the food you eat, what kind of house you live in, where that house is located, what income you earn. You get to decide what your children are taught and who teaches it.

Before I go further, please allow me to identify some ‘buzz’ words that push buttons in our culture. Where words such as ‘authority’, ‘obedience’ and ‘discipline’ were created by our Father in heaven, the enemy of man has twisted and perverted these words to keep us away from experiencing love. In the world, ‘authority’ is viewed as evil. ‘Obedience’ is seen as harsh and oppressive. ‘Honor’ and ‘Respect’ are seen as forced allegiance to undeserving tyrants. Please, please hear me on this. In their appropriate and original context, these words and the principles behind them are life giving. For the individual who walks willingly under the authority of the law, there is life, peace, protection, freedom to excel. Self-administered obedience (self-discipline) brings freedom from chaos, stability, confidence, peace and hope. Honor and respect simply identify tools by which I demonstrate value in people around me.

Words are the very thing that formed the universe, which is why a lack of understanding of these words keeps a man from walking in his rightful role. It is the understanding of leadership through love that positions a man to lead and influence his home, and the marketplace.

Authority, like life itself, however, cannot spring from nothing. Authority must be delegated from a higher source. The individual or entity that stands on its own and claims to have authority has no basis. The police officer who pulled Tom over for speeding gets his authority to do so from the civil authority that enacted the law that governs speed limits. The law makers that passed the speeding law gained their authority to do so from the documents that constitute the state that they govern. Those documents gain their authority from the Constitutional law under which our nation is established. The Constitution gains its authority from the Founder who established all law. Ultimately, all authority comes down from God himself. There is no authority, except that which comes from him.

There was a man in the Bible who was described, by Jesus, as having the greatest faith he had ever seen! He was a Roman centurion who said, “For I too am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me: and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it” Luke 7:8. Because the centurion had such understanding of authority, Jesus “marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, said, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.” It’s amazing to consider that of all actions or statements that Jesus observed as he walked on earth, the one that receives his highest commendation is a man who understands authority.

Authority is a powerful tool. You have been empowered to train your sons and daughters in the appropriate use of their own authority. They have the privilege of making life choices for themselves. Equip them to make good choices. Many of life’s biggest decisions are made between the ages of 16 and 22; sexual choices, marriage choices, educational choices, vocational choices, indebtedness choices.

Teach your children to respect authority and to show honor. From the earliest age, let them know that there is authoritative structure in the world and they must comply with that authority. When your children are disobedient and resist your authority, take quick action, without emotion. Just like the police officer that pulled Tom over for speeding, speak quietly, respectfully. Explain the violation clearly, and “write a ticket”. Yes, that means there should be a penalty for disobedience.

Your child needs to be prepared for reality. Every sphere of life carries a penalty for disobedience. Tom felt that penalty for speeding. An employee loses his job for it. An athlete is penalized for it. In your family, your children need to be impacted by it.

I am a strong proponent of spanking young children. When done appropriately, it doesn’t happen often. Please understand and remember the context. Spank under control and without emotion. Spank for defiance and not for accidents. Communicate clearly and take action quickly, to avoid frustration and actions that are taken in anger. Discipline for heart compliance and not just for outward conformity.

I want to encourage you to start early, pray consistently, talk openly. Step forward and take daily action to reap the long-term fruit of maturity, wisdom, and freedom in the lives of your children.

Providing Options for Youths!

by mholden

Mark Holden Live Giving youth options!

Posted by Mark Holden on Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Teaching Discernment to children

by mholden

Posted by Mark Holden on Monday, May 1, 2017

To Allow or Not to Allow? By Havalah Puccio

by mholden

Money. It is so small, yet because of it, nations have risen and fallen and wars have been fought. One might say it runs the world. It can make you or break you, so it is important to learn how to handle it wisely. Many parents have settled upon a monthly or weekly allowance to teach the next generation how to handle money. But this system is not turning out financially independent and responsible adults. Parent should reconsider allowances and use a better way of teaching financial wisdom, and bring up a generation who have character and knowledge of wealth.
Many parents believe that allowances are the best way to teach their children finance, character, and hard work. However, many parents just hand out the money and give no guidance on what to do with it. Not only is the child learning to get money they didn’t earn, they are also learning bad spending habits, and that life gives them free handouts. Altogether, the child is picking up bad work ethic, catastrophic spending habits, and the
unrealistic and destructive view that they will be handed the most important things in life for free without earning it. On the other hand, quite a few parents give their child allowance for doing chores. This is a definite step in the right direction, for it can teach hard work and responsibility. However, money isn’t the only way to teach these principles, and once again the child can learn bad spending habits, since they can easily earn it and they have no guidelines. In addition, they are missing a very important principle that allowances are stealing from them, that sometimes you should do a chore, or job because it is right, not because of money. There is not a quick fix way to develop a responsible child, it takes interaction and guidance to teach a person how to handle money, allowances definitely don’t teach a child this.
Also, allowances can be done by many modern families, but for people who financially can’t do it, and the families of the past, it was and is impossible. So how do these families in past and families in the present teach their children to be money growers instead of money wasters without allowance? First, parent’s give their children responsibilities and a choice to get it done right, or be given a punishment. This teaches responsibility, hard work and consequences, three important principles of wealth. Then they give their child money making opportunities, to teach them how to earn their own money. Finally, they teach their child how to use their money wisely, and not waste it. This way is better in so may ways. Mainly because it focuses on the most important principles of wealth, hard work, character, and stewardship. By learning how to be wealthy before earning money, they will already be richer.
As a kid, my parents decided it wouldn’t benefit anyone to give me an allowance, especially the bank account. Instead, I grew up working hard and learning responsibility. This made it easier for me when I got birthday money, or extra hard earned cash in the summer, for I knew what to do with it. They taught me to never spend it all, as I saw other kids doing, but saved some of it for later investments. This taught me stewardship of money, to watch a budget, and find ways to make more money. There is nothing so satisfying as earning your own money, and watching it grow. This way, my parents taught me how to handle money wisely. For there are two things you can with a river, you can glean from the natural resources and benefit greatly from it, or you can waste it, and let all of it’s potential flow by you till it is dry and wasted. Money is a lot like a river, you can use it and gain a lot of rewards, or you can waste, abuse it, and let it dry up.
Allowances are not effectively teaching financial wisdom to the next generation. Parents should reconsider allowances and start using effective ways that actually successfully bring up financially independent, and responsible adults. Just like you don’t just drive without learning how to, people don’t learn how to handle money wisely without being taught how to.
Allowances don’t teach financial wisdom only parents who guide their children in the ways of wealth do.

The Unsung Song of Wayne Morrison

by mholden

April 6, 2012, my neighbor, Wayne Morrison died. My son, Isaiah, mowed the lawn for the Morrisons. We tended their chickens when they were away. They provided the invitations for my daughter’s wedding.

Wayne was a printer, but not just any printer. He was a walking antique. When Wayne walked the street of our small village, he looked like a page out of the history books that he printed. The presses in his shop were old when Teddy Roosevelt was president.

Wayne spent seven of his youthful years apprenticing under a master printer. That apprenticeship led him to a life-long vocation of putting thoughts, ideas, and history on the printed page.

When Wayne went to be with his Creator, I shared that information with the young men (seniors in high school) that work for me. They didn’t know him.

You need to understand that I live in a village of 442 residents. The print shop that Wayne operated was opened in 1815. His was the sixth generation of operation. He worked his trade here for 41 years. He loved his work, and delighted to demonstrate his trade to any who would take an interest. He wanted to teach someone else.

But the youth of our community missed out on Wayne. They didn’t know him. They will never have the benefit of his wisdom or experience. The educational system to which they are subjected is disconnected from providing actual life skills. The skilled laborers, craftsmen, and even professionals, both active and retired, are not available to our youths. Not only do these young people miss out on the vocational training that these folks have to offer, but also the wisdom, experience, and practical life skills that are stored up in them.

Rest in peace,Wayne. We will miss you. Our youth will never know what they have missed.

Iced Youths

by mholden

On March 22, 1992, 44-year old pilot, Captain Wallace J. Majure II, climbed into his pilot seat to make a routine flight from LaGuardia Airport in New York to Cleveland, Ohio. The flight had become routine for him, having flown the USAir Fokker F28 for seven years. After completing his pre-trip checks and preparations, Majure and his crew made their way onto the runway and waited to be cleared for take off. Nasty New York weather delayed air traffic, and unknown to the captain, that delay was allowing the build up of ice, although he had been through the de-icing procedure twice.
Finally, takeoff was initiated. The takeoff thrust and rotation surged forward normally. Passengers were pressured back into their seats indicating that they would soon be off the ground. The jet rushed forward, nose-gear lifted from the ground, and the craft was air borne. The normal lift that the crew expected did not come. The nose of the liner began to dive. The capable captain attempted to level the jet as it banked to the left, back to the right, then left again. The plane rushed forward only a few feet above ground. It touched down, then lifted slightly again, while the left wing dragged the ground for 110 feet. Finally the left wing clipped some light towers and a pump house, which severed it from the fuselage. The plane spun and flipped down an embankment and into Flushing Bay of the Hudson River.
Of the 51 people on board, 27 were killed in the accident, including the captain and one of the cabin crew members. Tragedy had struck, caused by a craft carrying more weight than it could lift, in the form of ice on the wings.

Young people are supposed to be able to fly. Each one has been gifted in a unique way. Each one has a role to play in the world. Each one has something to contribute toward the betterment of the world.
But somehow, the process of take off has been delayed. The system into which our youth are immersed does not equip them for take off. Instead, it actually ices their wings. The result is catastrophic. In our culture, by the time a young person reaches the age of eighteen, and finishes his high school training, he is still completely illequipped for life. He can go off to war, smoke cigarettes, impregnate his girl friend, even take her for an abortion, but cannot balance a check book, cannot be trusted with a credit card, and is not prepared in any way for the work force.
The default mode for continuing that young person’s preparation is to pursue a college education. So he or she engages four to six years of additional training, and thousands, rather tens of thousands, of dollars of expense. The net result is a huge debt load resulting in a modesty more employable person, who in all likelihood will end up in a job that is completely unrelated to the diploma that represents ice on his wings.
The young man marries a sweet young lady, who by the way, has pursued a course very similar to him. They each enter the job market, not only to provide for their new household, but also to shoulder the burden of their college debt. That debt requires them to have someone else raise their children, because each of them has to work, and usually more than one job. Their family struggles under huge pressure. They do not have meals together. Small decisions become large decisions because there is no time to develop good communication. Their children develop a distorted sense of family, because the house is usually empty, and when there are people there, it’s not fun.